Ass over tea kettle…
I’m not sure where I first heard that saying, but it seems to apply as I flip down the most ridiculously steep chute I’ve ever ridden. I see whiteness… and more whiteness. Was that a tree that whipped past? I finally skid to a halt in deep powder. A quick check shows no damage, no pain anyplace where there isn’t usually pain. “Are you okay!?” rains down in a chorus from high above. So I do what any idiot in my place would: I look back up the hill at Phil and Jess and shout, “WHOOOOOO!”
It’s the worst fall I’ve ever taken on a snowboard. But then, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to ride, so I guess the universe still works like it’s supposed to.
Phil, Jess and I have been on a journey that’s as epic as it’s possible to be in an hour and a quarter. We rode a lift to the high point of Grand Targhee, rode a short traverse to a saddle, then dismounted and started hiking. The saying goes, “Earn your turns,” and that was only the second time I’ve done so. The first was about three hours earlier.
The slog took us to the top of Mary’s Nipple, a slightly shorter peak than the main, where we again strapped in and rode to another saddle, below Peaked Mountain, and the real work began. The longest and steepest section of the boot pack, our trail (I use the term loosely) led to the Peaked summit. I haven’t been that high since I was in South America, and I was 22 then. Ugh. I heard myself wheezing ever so slightly and, by the time I got to the top, I could measure my heart rate without palpating anywhere.
But the turns we earned were worth every step! We summitted alone in a white out, and rode over a half mile in untracked pristine, marshmallowy fluffiness. When we finally stopped at the top of the nearest lift, we were giggling like children and still nowhere near the base of the mountain.
A short traverse later and we came to the top of Das Boot, an 80-degree cliff-lined face punctuated by chutes where it’s possible to not fly off a cliff. I sat atop it and looked straight down. My boots and board dangled in the air below. The three of us hopped off the edge and began to traverse looking for a sane way past the cliff band.
I passed Phil and Jess as I rounded a large pine and there she was: my chute.
I’ve never done this before, but hey, snow is fluffy, so why not. In the split second after I saw the chute open up beneath me, I thought, “I guess I can either do this or not. If I turn now, I’m committed. One turn. That’s all it will take. Should I do this?” It was already too late. “Oh well,” I thought. “What’s the worst that can happen?”
Oh. Right.
I’m experiencing technical difficulties with my helmet cam – enough that I’m convinced the problems are NOT user error. It stops shooting whenever it feels like it. Still pictures are low quality and, unless the light level is full sun, it can’t discern dark shades. Aiming the camera is an orgy of trial and error, and I never know if I got the shot until I upload them at the end of the day. And even when I do manage to get a well-composed shot, it’s so shaky, you can barely tell what you’re looking at.
Nevertheless, I put together a video and some pics. Also, I have a plan to get better shots tomorrow. Yay!
The hiking in the video is from early in the day during our first foray to Mary’s Nipple, and so is the footage of Phil riding off into the void. The highlight is Wendy, linking her first ever snowboard turns! Enjoy!
J


